Today, after I literally cussed a woman out (Note: I have never said that my mouth was a prayer book), Dionne and Friends’ song, “That’s What Friends Are For” popped into my head. I have been humming the tune for the past hour. I can hear Elton singing, “For good times, for bad times. Know that you can always count on me. For sure. That’s what friends are for.” I can also hear my cousin, Stevie Wonder, playing his harmonica.
That’s not true for an Ahwatukee social media group called Ahwatukee Friends. Showtime showed me with the Ahwatukee 411's Facebook page on my office computer. They genuinely deserve the negative reputation that they have earned; however, the Ahwatukee Friends, a branch-off of this right-wing, racist group, showed me their true colors today. The 411 is most definitely in good company when it comes to exposing race relations and which side its administrators will be on. I would like to provide you with a background history of Ahwatukee Friends. Last year, after the Ahwatukee Friends’ founder, a Caucasian female, was removed from the Ahwatukee 411, another Facebook group, for “race baiting” (due to wearing a Black Lives Matter (BLM) t shirt), she took the advice of the Ahwatukee 411’s founder, and she created her on social media page. Her aim was to prevent the group from being fodder for racist and ultra-conservative comments. Considering that I was removed from the Ahwatukee 411 due to commenting about the blatant level of racism found in the group, I was happy to join the Ahwatukee Friends.
My joy ended today. I was removed from the group due to asking someone about his identity due to the trolling that I endured from “Bobby.” The leader asked me to remove the comment, and I immediately did. Per my private message today, she said, "Cicely, I'm sorry. We have decided as an admin team to remove you from the group. Accusing someone by name in a group of 7k people is not acceptable, especially because it was after I told you he was someone else. . ."
She must really think think that those three letters, behind my last name, are solely for decoration, and that I am dumb, The administrator knows that there is evidence that supports that the comment was removed at the same time that she requested that I do so.
My removal is due to the following: Last night, after being trolled by “Monica Harris” (a troll), I posted the following comment in Ahwatukee Friends:
Admin: Please remove if not appropriate. I am typing this message out of absolute fear. There is a troll, amongst our community, who is taking on various aliases. One troll, who is Caucasian, harassed me last summer under the alias of an African American man. He is also known to take on aliases of Caucasian females. He started trolling me again two months ago. Said troll has also harassed other Ahwatukee women. This is not me being "crazy;" this is me being logical and factual. Recently, I have had someone troll me under an alias' name. It was a woman's name, and he privately message me some rather profane things. These Ahwatukee groups were created to be informative to our community; however, from my perception, as well as others, we have some people who are starting to play rather dangerous games. I am asking that everyone please be careful. If you do not know the person, do not friend him. These "games" are dangerous, and I am extremely worried about the consequences when they go too far. Please be careful. Pick and choose your battles in these groups.
The troll came out, and people messaged me out of concern. One man, whose wording and photos were similar to said troll, caught my attention. An Ahwatukee Friend member messaged and told me to tread cautiously with responding. I asked this male member if he was the same person who trolled me. Let me tell you – when that color line is drawn. Around the same time, the comment was made, the page creator asked me to remove it, and I did. Hours later, I received a message stating that I failed to remove the comment when I had been asked to do that.
Apparently, this person must fail to understand that she is dealing with a woman with effective critical thinking skills. When that color line is drawn. . .
Sigh. Heffa, bye. Please save the games for someone who could not teach a critical thinking class in her sleep.
I have zero tolerance for deflection, and I am starting to understand that a large percentage of White women, especially those who consider themselves liberal to the point where they make the conscientious effort to purchase BLM apparel succumb to deflection when a black woman “checks” them for their ways. Sometimes, I do not know if they realize what they are doing. Here are examples of deflection:
· I am a liberal, and because of that, my family has disowned me. Therefore, it hurts me that you are saying that I am not pro-black.
· Consider the things that you are going through. Is it really worth fighting this battle?
· I have a family, and I really do not have time to deal with this matter. My family needs me.
Please allow me to segway to today’s lesson entitled How to Deal with Black Women 101: Intersectionality. The one thing that will set a woman on fire more so than a hair relaxer is deflection. When you start deflecting, I will literally shut down and create a wall. We are done. I will be polite, but I will get off the phone, and I will call a person of color and share the situation with them. Deflection is real, and honestly, I encourage White women to read up about it, especially if they are befriending women of color. It’s physically and emotionally taxing to keep trying to educate Caucasian females about the importance of Intersectionality. Therefore, I am going to ask you to please read Riley H’s essay, “Unique Ways White Women Enact Racism” (https://medium.com/@dtwps/unique-ways-white-women-enact-racism-57af128a03f7º). Please pay close attention to #5: White women gain rapport and standing with WoC only to cause long-standing harm.
In regards to the points above, please allow me to respond:
· Do not wear BLM apparel unless you are truly willing to stand on the color line WITH me. Instead, keep on wearing your Rosie the Riveter shirts.
· Yes, it is worth fighting. You go through things. How would you feel if I reminded you of that. I can hear the, “But, but, but” now. STOP.
· I’m glad that you have a family. I also have someone trying to consume my time. His name is Jesus. Thank you.
If White women are going to continue to create these social media groups, they need to consider the values and mores of their members and lead accordingly. When they continue to employ the same techniques that they use on their peers, a person of color is going to eventually set them straight, and without having the knowledge on how to proceed, they will immediately succumb to the “Woe is Me I am a White woman, and it is time for me to victimize myself” role.
Black women ain’t having it.
There is one minority administrator associated with the group. My message to her is: If a White woman did this to me, what do you think that she will do to you when she feels as if you are confronting her? Do not EVER allow a person to see you co-sign on the disrespect of a person of color.
Now, what will happen is:
* Chief administrator will get upset. She will deflect, screenshot, and share this link with everyone.
My response: Do that. I have my popcorn ready for when the private messages hit my inbox. Also, I will brew some tea.
Call me Kermit.
Over the past 24 hours, two people have said, “Cicely, you get race theory. You really should be the President of a local NAACP chapter.”
The devil is a lie. I am going to stick to presiding over this blog.
Get me that Mahalia Jackson church fan, please!